2002 (Side A): Bullet Garden/Remarks from Mr. John Drox

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Synopsis
Filmmaker John Drox rhapsodizes about Claudia Walken and Charon Walken, two young actors whom he views as the height of perfection. He states that he wants to watch their "growth through film" and that when they eventually die he wants to film a perfect biopic about their perfect lives. However, since they seem to be in perfect health they just might live into their 120s, which means he might have to live to his 150s. He hopes that the siblings discover "some sort of Elixir of Immortality before that."

He asks the listener how many times they think he has said the word 'perfect' until now, and advises them to not throw around the word 'perfect' too much unless they want everyone to think they're some 'cheap guy' who is "swayed like a feather in the wind." He then cheerfully admits that he himself is more close to boulder-weight than featherweight.

John adds that since Claudia and Charon are perfect appearance-wise, they'll likely have no trouble finding spouses once they're of marriageable age. He concludes that "it'd be perfect if they married each other," before laughing loudly.