2002 (Side A): Bullet Garden/Remarks from Mr. John Drox

Synopsis
Filmmaker John Drox rhapsodizes about Claudia Walken and Charon Walken, a young actress and stuntman young actors whom he considers perfect as individuals and even more so as a pair. Though he would like to direct a 'perfect biopic' about their 'perfect lives' in the event of their deaths, their 'perfect health' makes it seem utter plausible that they might live to be a hundred and twenty—so he would love it if someone could discover an 'immortality drug' if he dies.

He asks the listener how many times they think he has said the word 'perfect' until now, and advises them to not overuse the word too much lest everyone think they are as shallow as he is. Finally, John comments that with looks as perfect as the Walken siblings, both should have no lack of potential spouses to choose from in the future—though he laughs that them marrying each other would be especially perfect.